Mount Lee Lacy, The Pride of Gainsville, Florida, was arrested yesterday for allegedly biting his dog.

I know what you're thinking: This is just a lead up to a cheap autofellatio joke, isn't it? No, it's not, but thanks for asking.

No, Mount was in fact taken into custody after his girlfriend's mother overheard an argument between he and her daughter over how to discipline Lady, their Jack Russel Terrier. AKC records show the dog's full name is Styx's Lady of the Morning.

When questioned about the incident, Lacy said that "dogs bite so that's what they understand," as he dragged his ass across the precinct floor to express his discomfort and nervousness.

Analogcabin @ 12:57 PM
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