I wasn't a bad kid. I mean, I did some bad things -- things that got me into trouble or would have had I been caught -- but I don't think I did anything really, utterly stupid.

For example, from the time I was probably 15 or 16 until I went to college I used this guy named Gabe Humbert's old driver's license to buy booze. It was an awful likeness and it had expired, but there was an Indian guy who ran a little store on Bailey Avenue who required only the most basic proof of age. Once my friend Kevin gave him an insurance card and it was accepted. Now I realize what I did was illegal, but the goal was understandable: To get drunk on 40 ounce bottles of Crazy Horse malt liquor and call girls who would prefer not to talk with us.

Here's another example: My friend Keith and I used to go from garage to garage looking for cases of beer to take. Though we never broke into garages that were locked, I supposed what we did is technically robbery or larceny or something. I see now that it was dumb, but our goal was understandable: To get drunk while sitting in a home construction site, trying to get Nikki Benatovitch and her somewhat fatter, but bigger boobed friend to give us tug jobs.

In both of the examples above, what I did was wrong. But at least the motive was understandable.

These kids are different. Sure, there's some comedy inherent in hijinks involving a turkey during the Thanksgiving season. But using a stolen credit card? Why? And a frozen turkey from a speeding car? Unless you're retarded you know it's going to cause serious damage and you don't even get the hilarious splat anyone who's dropped a turkey knows they make.

What I'm trying to say is that what I did when I was young might have been bad. They was I see it, I took calculated risks for clear rewards. These kids didn't even get any beer out of the deal.

Analogcabin @ 10:49 AM
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