I usually don't post articles in entirety, opting instead to delude myself into thinking you actually follow the link before gorging your gluttonous selves on my comic confections. But today is different. This is different. I invite you, my drooling devotees, to make the jokes yourselves. In the Spoonbender style, of course.

LAVA LAMP EXPLODES ON STOVETOP, KILLING MAN

Tuesday, November 30, 2004 Posted: 2:53 AM EST (0753 GMT)

KENT, Washington (AP) -- A man who placed a lava lamp on a hot stovetop was killed when it exploded and sent a shard of glass into his heart, police said.

Philip Quinn, 24, was found dead in his trailer home Sunday night by his parents.

'Why on earth he was heating a lava lamp on the stove, we don't know,' Kent Police spokesman Paul Petersen said Monday.

After the lamp exploded, Quinn apparently stumbled into his bedroom, where he died Sunday afternoon, authorities said.

Police found no evidence of drug or alcohol use.

Analogcabin @ 8:42 AM
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