I can't say there was ever a time that I respected Madonna, but there was a time when I considered her attractive.

I was nine years old in 1984 when "Like a Virgin" came out. I don't think I was capable of real and sticky lust back then, but I recall being stirred by the song's video, nonetheless. The feelings were mysterious and guttural. I didn't know what they were, but I knew they weren't caused by the stalking lion or gondola. There was something about the still immaterial girl's wriggling and writhing. I couldn't put my finger on it, but I sure tried.

My attraction to Madonna continued until about 1992. I was a junior in high school and, unlike when I was nine, I was having sex quite regularly, thanks to a couple of generous classmates willing to overlook my acne. Also unlike when I was nine, there was no longer anything about Madonna that visually stimulated me. I'd begun to have a "type," and I guess gap-toothed bottle blondes weren't it. I'd also taken up the silly indie rock cross I still bear, so I found the idea of Madonna intellectually repulsive. In short, she shouldn't have given me a boner, but she still did.

"Erotica" and the Sex book ended that. Madonna wounded my psyche, and it wasn't until she finally showed me her boobs that I could heal.

Yesterday Madonna endorsed Wesley Clark on her website. The letter was laughable -- exactly the kind of overly dramatic and nonsensical crap you'd expect from the shell of a pop star. At one point she assures Americans that their greatest risk isn't Iraq or terrorism, it's "...a lack of honesty and a complete lack of consciousness." While I concur that a nation unconscious is certainly a recipe for disaster, I think it's safe to assume she meant conscience and was trying to sound smart by adding a syllable.

It's not that I think Clark is a bad choice. It's not that the letter repeatedly mentions her citizenship and concern for the future of her children's nation, despite her high profile status as Anglophilic ex-pat. It's not the cloying tone and thoughtlessness of the letter, and it's not that Madonna's current image will make the endorsement low-hanging fruit for Republican spin doctors.

It's that I resent her for giving me blueballs when I was nine and waiting eight years to relieve them.

Analogcabin @ 11:47 AM
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