The Spoonbender

Wednesday, July 06, 2005

One of the attractions that keeps discerning readers coming back to this website, I believe, is that aspect of The Spoonbender's humor relating to the ever-sensitive issues of race, religion, gender roles, and ethnicity, both here in the United States and in the darker places of the world. Specifically, I think the educated fans appreciate our host's reluctance to pull punches in this delicate area.

"Just because I use the term 'Jew-boy,' or 'hapless savage,' or 'magic-underwear-wearing inbred polygamist plate-worshipper,' does that make me intolerant?" our host seems to ask, "Or merely the voice of your own uncomfortable thoughts?" I leave you to answer that query yourself.

However, it is reasonable to wonder whether I, a relative lightweight in the hate-mail-generating field, will be able to maintain the sort of discourse, or rather, monocourse, that visitors of this site have come to expect. I believe the answer to be yes. Yes, I can. You gene-pool-diluting bastards! (How was that?)

But before I wade confidently into these dangerous waters, I thought it prudent to test out a little of my "off-color" humor to find out if it indeed is up to the task. So I've prepared a representative sample for your perusal. Here are a just a few of my delightfully "politically incorrect" jokes which I think you'll enjoy:

Q: How many Samoans does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
A: Usually one.

Q: What do you get if you cross a black guy with a Mexican?
A: A person with a rich cultural heritage.

Q: What's the fastest animal in the world?
A: After some research, it was determined that the Peregrine Falcon is in fact much faster than a dog in Vietnam, reaching speeds of up to 200 miles per hour during vertical dives.

Q: What do you call a Jew at a Ku Klux Klan march?
A: Officer Goldstein.

Q: What does "PONTIAC" stand for?
A: Pontiac is not an acronym; the name comes from an 18th-century Ottawa Indian chief.

Q: Why does the new Polish Navy have glass-bottom boats?
A: Most ships in the Polish Navy do not have glass bottoms; the few that do are used for oceanographic research.

Q: How do you get a Jewish guy to spend money?
A: It would be difficult! They're notoriously stingy!

Q: Why did the Croatian cross the road?
A: To eat Christian babies!

Q: Why did the Gypsy cross the road?
A: Again with the Christian babies!

OK, I admit I ran out of steam a little at the end. But I think you'll agree that I'm off to a great start, and with some practice I'll have everyone laughing irreverently faster than an Asian-American fire drill.

folks

Just a few satire of the satirical people who satire helped me with this satirical piece of satire.