The Spoonbender Presents:

"Dos and Don'ts for Dating This Woman"



Don't...
...get your hopes up for oral.

Do...
...try to get it by telling her you want to "reinsert your feeding tube."

Don't...
...ask if the carpet matches the curtains.

Do...
...say that, like Moses, you want to talk to her burning bush.

Don't...
...take the tape off.

Do...
...pray she doesn't take that tape off.