Welcome to the first of what, considering my generally hateful demeanor, will become a regular feature....

People I Can Hate Without Having to Meet Them

"Investment Bankers"
It doesn't matter to me if you grew up black, gay, and retarded in East St. Louis, if I hear you say that you're an investment banker, you're a rich white boy who attended a mid-level East Coast prep school with "hedge" in the name. You majored in date rape at a private university like Skidmore that specializes in fuck-offs, and, after some time in South America, then Europe, then New Zealand, then Europe, your father decided it's time you had work. None of this would bother me if you were a painter or a stock broker, but an investment banker? I don't even know what one is, you fucking dickhead.

I might be wrong about investment bankers, but I'll never find out.