I'm not feeling particularly spiteful or insightful today, so instead of my standard self-aggrandizing tripe, I'll offer, at my usual rock bottom prices, three news stories that are completely unrelated. I'll then, in a display of minimal imagination, connect them. Fasten your seatbelts.

First, here's a story about some naked protestors. Apparently they've decided that revealing their goodies is the best way to convince people that the World Trade Organization is a force for evil. Below is an excerpt from the article:

"We are not here to throw sticks or stones," said Rafael Alegria, international secretary of the farm group Via Campesina. "We are here to send a clear and ringing message: Take agriculture out of the WTO talks and look at my penis."

In related news, there's this interesting tidbit on an offer made to prospective strippers wherein a club owner will provide tuition disbursement to women or men who dance while in school. In addition to the standard wages of sin, they'll receive a two grand stipend so long as they maintain a B or above average. It's like the GI Bill, except with more lap dancing. Or, it's getting a full ride for giving a full ride.

And finally, the coeds that accept the scholarship can expect to pay for books with some ugly new twenties that smell like G-string.